Crush
by wolf with panther eyes
Summary: Do you ever think when you’re all alone, all that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush? Arthur/Gwen, rated M for sexual scene.


Songfic set to 'Crush' by David Archuleta. Like most songfics, it's probably best if you know the actual song first - if not, then I recommend listening to it.

I was just planning to make it Arthur brooding over his feelings towards Gwen, but the story... changed as I wrote it. So although most of it is Arthur brooding over Gwen; the rest is Arthur chasing her down.

Please R&R - this is my first Merlin songfic, and my first proper attempt at a sex scene, so I'd like to hear your opinions.

* * *

"Oh no; I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm sorry."

"Gwen."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, it won't happen again..."

"Guine_vere_."

_I hung up the phone tonight  
Something happened for the first time deep inside  
It was a rush, what a rush_

No girl had ever spoken to Arthur like that before - Morgana had told him off plenty of times, but this was different. Gwen was usually so... quiet. But now she'd spoken to him like he was just an ordinary person - and Arthur hated to admit it, but he had liked it.

_'Cause the possibility  
That you would ever feel the same way about me  
It's just too much, just too much_

Arthur had never seen Gwen as anything other than Morgana's maidservant, or the blacksmith's daughter. But now he watched her from across the room, taking in her heartfelt smile and the natural grace of her body as she flitted from table to table. Once, she glanced up and caught Arthur's eye briefly. His heart suddenly beat unnaturally fast as she smiled at him.

_Why do I keep running from the truth?  
All I ever think about is you  
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized  
And I've just got to know_

Arthur pummeled his pillow in frustration. Gwen was starting to occupy all his thoughts, all his fantasies, all his dreams. Whenever he glimpsed her, he forgot how to breathe. Once they passed, her elbow brushing against his side, and Arthur had to hurry off before Gwen turned to apologise. He couldn't live like this anymore.

_Do you ever think when you're all alone  
All that we can be, where this thing can go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it real or just another crush?_

Arthur was certain that Gwen didn't feel the same way about him. He remembered all those times when he had seen her with Merlin, and how her face had lit up as she talked to Arthur's manservant. She had never talked like that to Arthur.

And yet... he could remember, in a dreamy haze, how she had talked to him when he had been almost mortally wounded. Gwen's hand had brushed his forehead, her hand had caught his and held it. Maybe she returned his feelings?

Arthur was becoming obsessed, and he hated it.

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?  
Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away  
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy  
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

Arthur was slowly starting to realise that this couldn't be just a crush. It felt so much stronger, so much realler. While he grew to adulthood, he'd had a brief crush on Morgana that felt nothing like this, and was more embaressing when he realised that Morgana was more like a sister to him. And his memories of Sophia were faded, so he knew he couldn't have liked her _that_ much.

Gwen was special, no doubt about that. But Arthur knew that he could do nothing about it. She was a servant; he was a prince. She loved Merlin. He loved her.

_Has it ever crossed your mind  
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?  
Is there more, is there more?_

Arthur had never taken much notice of Gwen until Merlin had arrived in Camelot. Sure, Arthur had talked to her when they were in their early teens as he waiting for her father to finish making his armour, but then he had simply forgotten her. Now, though, all those lost memories started to flood through Arthur as he thought about her. They'd talked such trivial nonsence in those days - mostly discussing the latest armour that had been created. No other girl Arthur had met was able to talk about what was usually such a masculine-based subject.

_See it's a chance we've gotta take  
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last  
Last forever, forever_

Arthur longed to admit his feelings to Gwen, but he was too much of a... coward. Arthur hated the word, but it described what he felt. Yes, the Prince of Camelot was unable to tell someone that he loved her because he was scared of her reaction.

But if he could work up the courage, he could catch her alone. Tell her his true feelings. And maybe she would respond with the same emotion. Arthur longed to touch her, to hold her in his arms and protect her. To feel his lips against hers, their bodies crushed together... It would just be perfect.

Arthur bit his lower lip, needing physical pain to counteract the mental pain swelling through him. That could never happen.

_Do you ever think when you're all alone  
All that we can be, where this thing can go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it real or just another crush?_

It was too much. Arthur had to know what Gwen thought about him, he just _had_ to. He leapt off his bed, dashing down the corridor towards Morgana's room. Even if Gwen wasn't there, Morgana might know where Gwen was.

He rammed his fists against the door, struggling to control his breathing. The door swung open.

"Arthur?" Morgana sounded surprised. "What are you doing here?" She glanced up and down, noticing the dishelvelled state he was in.

"Where's Gwen?" Arthur asked, trying hard to look as indifferent as possible. Morgana possibly guessed why he was asking, though, because a sudden glint appeared in her eyes.

"Gwen? Oh, she's cleaning my dressing room." Her mouth formed a knowing smile. "Finally going to tell her?"

Arthur blinked. "Is it that obvious?"

Morgana sighed, shaking her head. "You're so clueless."

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?  
Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away  
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy  
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy_

Arthur skidded to a halt outside the room, suddenly hit by the full impact of what he was planning to do. Arthur had wanted to walk in, sweep Gwen up in his arms and whisper his feelings to her before he kissed her. But now he realised that if he attempted that, he would probably scare Gwen off. That just wasn't the kind of thing you did, especially if Gwen didn't feel the same way towards him.

Arthur breathed heavily. The urgency to tell Gwen was fading, and he was slowly regaining control of himself. What was he thinking? He couldn't do this - not now, not ever. Gwen was a servant, a servant who most likely didn't even love him in the way that Arthur loved her.

Arthur hung his head, his cheeks burning. He couldn't do this. He took a step forward, intending to make his way back to his chambers, but his boot caught on a bucket lying nearby. He stumbled, than fell to the floor, hitting the hard stone heavily.

There was a rustle of movement behind him as Arthur got to his knees. And then, Gwen's voice said his name.

_Why do I keep running from the truth?  
All I ever think about is you  
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized  
And I've just got to know_

"I'm so, so sorry, sire!" Gwen apologised yet again, her face flushed as she helped Arthur upright. "I didn't mean for anyone to trip over it, I swear."

"Gwen," Arthur interjected, not meeting her eyes in case she saw the passion in them.

"It won't happen again, I promise..."

"Guine_vere_."

Gwen suddenly froze for a moment. Finally, she spoke. "You... you can call me Gwen, sire," she murmured, barely loud enough for Arthur to hear. "Everyone else does."

"But what if I don't want to?" Arthur replied, taking a step towards her despite himself. His rational mind shouted at him to go, to leave her. But the small voice at the back of his conciousness was becoming louder, and Arthur felt an impulse to follow that quieter voice. "Guinevere..."

"Yes, sire?"

Arthur stared at her. This was almost better than his wistful dreams. He took another step forward, inwardly delighted as he realised that she hadn't moved away.

"I'll call you Gwen," Arthur whispered, "if you'll call me Arthur."

The look in her eyes told Arthur all he needed to know.

"Gwen, I can't hold it anymore..."

_Do you ever think when you're all alone  
All that we can be, where this thing can go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it real or just another crush?_

The kiss interrupted him. Gwen's lips tasted sweeter than anything that Arthur could have imagined. Slowly, their mouths opened and the tips of their tongues touched - at first hesitantly, and then more confidently. Gwen was the first to pull back, gasping, but then one of her hands clutched Arthur's neck, the other grasping his blond hair. Arthur began to direct his kisses along her neck. He reached forward, pulling Gwen's dress off of her shoulder before kissing the cinnamon skin that the dress had hidden.

Gwen took a few steps back, pulling Arthur into the dressing room. Arthur clammed the door shut with his foot, not wanting to let her go as they collasped onto a nearby lounge. Arthur's hands began to tug at the bodice of Gwen's dress; smiling, Gwen helpd him undo the strings tying it together. Her dress fell away, exposing the upper half of her body, and Arthur's breath caught for a second as he lightly ran his fingers down her neck and over her breasts. Gwen groaned, clinging to Arthur as she peeled his shirt off and threw it the ground. Arthur, grinning slowly, undid his belt and let it fall beside his shirt. Gwen lay back, watching in fascination as Arthur removed his trousers before leaning over her and kissing her.

"In case you don't know," Arthur said quietly, his voice muffled as they broke apart for a heartbeat. He stroked her cheekbone, feeling her smooth skin. "I love you."

Gwen grasped his hair, pulling him back to her. "I know."

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?  
Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away  
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy  
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy  
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy  
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy  
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy..._


End file.
